the playlist.

i check the playlist you made for me every single day.

hoping that a new song is added

that i listen to on repeat trying to find the underlying meaning

hoping that you still love me.

that i over analyze until it simply becomes

words on a screen.

every song lyric a bag of tea, and i am water.

and the words steep.

i check the playlist you made for me every day. 

i yearn that a new song is added

yet i’ve memorized the duration

and the total does not increase.

i add to the playlist i made for you every single day. 

hoping that you see it

hoping that you know i miss you. 

hoping you over analyze the lyrics as much as i do yours.

yet i’m not sure that you do.

i make new playlists for you when i miss you.

every lyric encompassing how i feel. 

i am not sure that you see them;

i do not feel seen or heard. 

the words beginning to run dry like california during a drought. 

i try my hardest to give you space

but it leaves a hole inside of me instead.

i try to grow without you but how does a flower bloom without its sunshine. 

i want to grow with you.

i want the playlist to grow.